So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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