Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
