I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
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