Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
