beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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