she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
