Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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