i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
