it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
