clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
