Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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