swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
