32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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