I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
