help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
