Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
