I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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