i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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