Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
