i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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