Dual....:-)
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
