Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
