you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
