these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
