According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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