i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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