i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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