escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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