accomplished twins. life is a go
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize
