You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
