I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
