is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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