Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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