this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
