I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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