What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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