i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize