cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
