Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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