i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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