McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
