And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I am mentally ready for anal.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
