Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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