Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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