I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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