OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
