she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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