i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We talked him into tasing himself.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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