Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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