He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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