i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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