So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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