a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
