I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
