I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Drake has all the answers
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Randomize
