idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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