so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
