Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The best revenge is premature balding
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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